24 July 2009

Session 1 Identity/Passions

Disclaimer: This may seem disjointed, but I was typing quickly and not able to catch everything.

Friday 24 July

BlogHer 09

Break Out Session #1 Identity/Passions: The Transformational Power of Blogging

Bloggers speaking: Kate from SweetSalty.com, Daniella Capastrano from www.danielacapistrano.com, Kelly from Ordinary Art


Twins born into NICU. Given a paper journal because was assumed she wouldn’t keep blogging while twins were there. Felt like a human fist. Scared to go down to see babies, they looked like little aliens. Kept blogging so she wouldn’t explode. 1 baby died after 6 weeks. The other is 2 yrs old. Story was gore. People step back from you. It’s like walking around with a big hole in your chest where you’ve exploded. The rest of the world wants to look away. The blog was almost sado-masochistic in ways. She wanted people to see beauty and hope in the NICU. To see something else other then the bad things. She wrote in a way to keep people from turning away. If you stay with that person and don’t look away, don’t make them feel rushed. Don’t necessarily need to say anything. Blogging was a discipline of looking for something other than despair.

To accept who you are and to surround yourself with people who feel that way. To finally touch love is acceptance. Grief has a defibulator effect. After going through what I went through, I met Bonnie and she was the first bereaved mother I met. She had a son named Finn. Was in her living room and felt at peace because Bonnie had been where she had been. This was a person just like her. Co-Founded Glow in the Woods, for parents who have experienced the loss of children. Mothers and Fathers in a non-religious setting. Had a vision for a community. Be in the company of like minded or same thoughtful people. If you are seeing a void find 3 or 4 people who have had the same/similar experience and start the community. Be active about it.

Never thought of as courageous when writing my blog. It was never a ‘moment’. The practice of writing is what helps you see that gore differently. This is turning me into the person I’m supposed to be.


Not a lot of resources for working in the film industry. Tried to find blogs that had to do with her career aspirations. Now is writing a blog about her career and trying to help others in the same way. Access to someone’s personal stories and courage to share, then D wouldn’t have had the guts to sell everything and move to New York, because of what she had seen through someone else’s eyes. Engage and look to what you want.

Everything I put out in the world directly/indirectly reaches someone.


Decided to write a post about going out and drinking, because then she thought she could socialize. She went outside in the snow, and her friends left her out there to figure it out. Two guys were out there, and she woke up underwear missing, aching. She was culpable and kept this story inside of her for a long time. During college she was at a Take Back the Night. She finally told someone and this lady hugged her. She felt bad so she lied when she told her story. She told her all the things that she thought wouldn’t make her look like it was her fault. When she finally wrote on her blog about it she went in her room and rocked. Bloggers commented on it. Received support from everyone. Questions from other bloggers about what had happened to them about being raped. She finally owned it when she wrote the truth. I’m here because I believe in me. Blogging allows me to own my history.

Always the thought what if I lose it, try to get out there. Finding out what your stories are. The importance of blogging is listening.

When I write and share the things I think about my daughter.

No comments: